How do we move from A to B

Pasta La Feista

2012-02-13T02:08:00.005+08:00

My New Cravings: Farfalle Pasta.

It tastes like Mee Hoon Kwek. hurhur - the italian version! It is soft and smooth (of course it takes quite awhile of boiling),and it's pretty as it is shape in a Bow-Tie.
Pasta has always been the time of the month food for me, mainly because I crave for lotsa carbo-food during my PMS period and pasta fulfills that criteria. But besides aglio olio style, that's all I know. But somehow I never get sick of it. You can throw in anything you want, and be amaze by the power of garlic and olive oil and how it turns everything so tasty. but the aftermath of my fingers now, its really horrible.I'm amaze by this little cherry tomatos too because it tasted really good when I cooked it with garlic. Cherry tomatoes is really tasty when its raw, but when you cook it hot, the inside becomes really softand when you bite it,the juice just oozes out. oh well. food oh food. you are a sin to my waistline.

2012-02-06T22:15:00.002+08:00

2012-01-25T23:37:00.006+08:00

I can't wait to watch the lady. And I'm so glad we are able to watch it earlier than the release date! all thanks to my colleague. Aung San Suu Kyi is such an extraordinary lady. I cannot imagine the long separation she had with her husband, and how understanding her husband and her children are. And of course, her perseverance in fighting for democracy for the people in Myanmar. I really admire her.

2012-01-25T00:43:00.002+08:00

you know why it keeps me going? it makes me look so forward to it?
It gives me hope. the hope to makes everything right once again.
To not commit the same mistake that was done on me.
To give my best because of what was lacking all these while.
I am not sure if you are the same.
I hope you are, and would hold my hand to tell me that you want to.
one day.

Foo Fighters - Learn to fly (Live at Wembley Stadium 08)

2012-01-16T22:27:00.000+08:00

Foo Fighters - Everlong (Live at Wembley Stadium 08)

2012-01-16T22:23:00.000+08:00

Foo Fighters - The Best Of You (Live @ Wembley Stadium 2008)

2012-01-16T22:20:00.001+08:00

Foo Fighters - My Hero (Live @ Wembley Stadium 2008)

2012-01-16T22:19:00.001+08:00

2012-01-16T21:52:00.000+08:00

2012-01-14T23:54:00.000+08:00

Wo Xiang Ni.

Bon Jovi - Livin' On A Prayer

2012-01-05T00:17:00.000+08:00

2012-01-05T00:14:00.001+08:00

Tahu Goreng is so yummy!
Add on with Ah chew's dessert, damn I am really getting bigger at the waistline!

Resolutions

2012-01-03T00:15:00.007+08:00

I have not got the time to blog pensively for a long time. It's already the 2nd day of New Year! How swift is that? It's like I have yet to really let the new year 2012 sink in and I am already down to 363 days.

Anyway, I've completed packing my room. cleared lotsa unneccessarily items that just sat there years after years collecting dust. I'm seriously a potential hoarder and when I grow old.

While packing, I realized how I have so many wants.

1)Bicycle. Fixie yet not Fixie. Can't decide.
2)Camera Digital and a Film Camera
3)Friends Season 1-10.
4)Room Revamp
5)Laptop
7)Biography of Kim Joong il
8)Complete my collection of all books by Paulo Coelho and Mitch Albom.
9)Long Walk to Freedom - Nelson Mandela.
OMG I don't even have time to read my textbooks, yet I want all these books so badly.

Lots of countries I want to go and activities i want to do.
1) Snorkeling
2) Para sailing
3) Loi Krathong
4) Sabah
5) Siem Reap and Kampung Thom
6) Cruise
7) Beach Holiday in Indonesia/Philippines.
8) Vietnam *nom nom* fucking miss the coffee and the baguette with ham and vege
Just realised Syafi should be back in Singapore by tomorrow with his 10 rolls of
film,how fucking awesome is that.
9) Thailand BKK shopping shopping shopping
10)Europe - Europe dollar is weakening,hence its the best time to go now isn't it? I
have absolutely no idea what is happening. I can never be a economists.
11)Taiwan
12)Tuscany

Albeit all the crazy thoughts I'm having in my mind right now, I just pray for a really fulfilling year 2012 yet again. I thought back around my year 2011, I was lacking in alot of things.

Of course, I am proud of my time management and I am so thankful for my current colleagues who brought me out of my previous job misery. I am also glad for the Cambodian colleagues whom so enthusiastically invited me in as I witness the massive flood that Cambodian has not experienced since almost the past decade. The flood was really an eye opener. I learnt alot. Know my weakness. But learn to accept it and hopefully learnt to deal with my weakness better by conquering it.

Went through Disa's ORD and also the lost of the most important person in his life. I feel like I haven't been the comforting girlfriend as I should be and I want to be. I know a couple of times where I let myself down because I was unable to deal with my insecurities and emotions. Neither did I allow him enough space to deal with the issues. I hope you do know that I'm never the best person in dealing with all these things and I hope you understand.

2 of my best friends have placed their order of their houses. So I'm pretty much guessing the wedding bells are ringing any time soon. Albeit the happiness I felt for the 2 of them, it sounded really scary to me, perhaps because my concept of marriage is totally different from them.

There are also many unresolved issues here and there, but I'm just going to leave it all in the hands of my 'god' to tell me what to do next.

2012 is not going to be a smooth sailing, happy every day, money rolls in like free, get enough sleep everyday year, just like how life should be, I just got to deal with it and make the best out of it. Stay Positive.

“When a baby comes into the world, its hands are clenched, right? Like this?" He made a fist. "Why? Because a baby not knowing any better, wants to grab everything, to say the whole world is mine. But when an old person dies, how does he do so? With his hands open. Why? Because he has learned his lesson." "What lesson?" I asked. He stretched open his empty fingers. "We can take nothing with us.” Mitch Albom

2011-12-31T01:04:00.004+08:00

Thanks for reminding me again and again what I want in my life. What truly makes me happy, sane and worth living for. I like how we are so different from each other.but yet so similar. I couldn't emphasize enough. I like how you unknowingly reminds me of how I should live for myself, and not for others. I like how doing the simplest things with you sometimes can make me feel so relax and serve as a reminder to be grateful for what I have. I like how you'll stick by me and not get suck in by this pseudo world which is made up of money which cannot bring happiness,and humans chasing for material needs that make human a slave. Money can bring you to countries you want to or open you up to knowledge, but I learnt not to be greedy. be contented. :)

Livin on a Prayer

2011-12-31T01:03:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time
Not so long ago
Tommy used to work on the docks
Union's been on strike
He's down on his luck...it's tough, so tough
Gina works the diner all day
Working for her man, she brings hom her pay
For love - for love

She says, We've got to hold on to what we've got
'Cause it doesn't make a difference
If we make it or not
We've got each other and that's a lot
For love - we'll give it a shot

Whoa, we're half way there
Whoa, livin' on a prayer
Take my hand and we'll make it - I swear
Whoa, livin' on a prayer

Tommy got his six string in hock
Now he's holding in what he used
To make it talk - so tough, it's tough
Gina dreams of running away
When she cries in the night
Tommy whispers, Baby it's okay, someday

We've got to hold on to what we've got
'Cause it doesn't make a difference
If we make it or not
We've got each other and that's a lot
For love - we'll give it a shot

We've got to hold on ready or not
You live for the fight when it's all that you've got

2011-12-24T15:04:00.002+08:00

Season 6 Episode 8.
you have to understand. you might lose it all.

2011-12-17T14:58:00.001+08:00

Cake in a Jar :)

2011-12-16T00:27:00.002+08:00

boyfriend rocks!

2011-12-04T00:18:00.002+08:00

Really hate the stress that tag along with the exams and school assignment. With time at my hands now, I have so many things to do. Such as doing nonsense stuff like rearranging my messy itunes/iphone apps, dl and convert all the movies every possible, finished big bang theory, run like mad, personalize my christmas gifts and enjoy my toffee nut latte at starbucks anytime I want to!
this is awesome.

2011-11-15T00:35:00.002+08:00

This messy mind of mine is driving me crazy tonight. not sure if its the PMS that causing all the mental trauma, but I need to get things sort out.

I'm reading my social work notes tomorrow and I will. I'm mentally fucking myself now beacause this module is important, its interesting and I've got to pull myself together to get this started. properly.

I'm going for a morning run because runs keeps me discipline and keeps me on schedule. it makes me feel completed.

I'm dying to read up on books related to Aung San Suu kyi and the recent nobel prize women receivers like Tawakkul Karman of Yemen. Aung San Suu Kyi is indeed a remarkable woman and I will get the book to read on the plane before I fly off.

piss out.

Pink Less than Perfect (Fuckin' Perfect)

2011-11-12T23:57:00.000+08:00

2011-11-07T18:55:00.003+08:00

I need Coffee. I want Coffee. I Crave Coffee. I Smell Coffee. I Love Coffee.

So Sad

2011-11-07T18:22:00.002+08:00

Genie

Genie was discovered in 1970. She had been locked in an isolated room in her parent’s house for approximately 18 months. When they found her she was about 13 years old. She was discovered only after her 50 year old mother applied for social assistance. When authorities saw Genie they called the police right away. They described her as: “a small withered, stooped girl who could barely walk and who held her hands up as though resting them on an invisible rail.” (Sociology: a critical introduction, 1996, 117.)

Characteristics:

Weight- 59 pounds
Height- 54 inches
Incontinent
Unable to chew
Barely able to swallow
Unable to focus her eyes beyond 12 feet
Unable to cry
Could not fully extend her arms or legs
Could not tell the difference between hot and cold
Spoke very little. “Stopit”, “Nomore”, and other negative
She only understood about 20 words
Although Genie’s parents were charged with willful abuse, neither went to jail. Her 70 year old father committed suicide, and the charges were dropped against the mother because she was suffering under her husband’s abuse too.

Genie arrived at the hospital extremely malnourished. She could not stand up straight, walk, jump, or run. She was also extremely silent and constantly masturbated.

While at the hospital she did begin to change:

After 7 months-

· She walked unsteadily
· Became somewhat toilet trained.
· Learned some new words
· Spoke some single words

After another month-
She began to put two words together

After 12 months-
She pronounced some verbs
She began to put three words together

Unlike other children, Genie new very little grammar and did not learn to ask questions. Researchers argued that the reason for this was because Genie missed a critical stage in language development.

http://hrsbstaff.ednet.ns.ca/mskinner/Sociology/Socialization/feral_children.htm

To make things worst, she participated in research which was said to be pushing her beyond the limits of her endurance. In some of the homes she was physically abused and harassed, and her development regressed severely.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genie_(feral_child)

Adele

2011-11-07T14:28:00.000+08:00

Whatever it takes

2011-11-07T13:00:00.002+08:00

2011-11-07T01:14:00.000+08:00

Am I still very special to you?

2011-11-05T14:30:00.001+08:00

The perfect un-married fairytale romance yet? They have two kids together and say they're more married than anyone else. Depp says, "Marriage is really from soul to soul, heart to heart. You don't need somebody to say, okay you're married... If Vanessa wanted to get hitched, why not... But the thing is, I'd be so scared of ruining her last name. She's got such a good last name."

2011-11-05T01:27:00.003+08:00

This tightness on my chest. :(

2011-11-01T22:55:00.003+08:00

I seriously hope its just GERD now and not anything else, especially heart diseases. Although of cause, I hope its nothing and just a temporary passing breathing issues. Its killing me.

2011-10-30T23:21:00.001+08:00

For a #Pisces it doesn’t matter WHAT happened but WHY it happened.

2011-10-27T10:51:00.003+08:00

Weary Tell Me Will You Hold Me
When Wrong, Will You Scold Me
When Lost Will You Find Me?

But They Told Me
A Man Should Be Faithful
And Walk When Not Able
And Fight Till The End
But I'm Only Human

Everyone's Taking Control Of Me
Seems That The World's
Got A Role For Me
I'm So Confused
Will You Show To Me
You'll Be There For Me
And Care Enough To Bear Me

Zee Avi - Bitter Heart

2011-10-16T00:31:00.000+08:00

Bitter Heart

2011-10-16T00:19:00.002+08:00

2011-10-15T20:52:00.004+08:00

2 more final assignments to go. 1 more malay language conversational exam. And 3 more academic exam papers! All to conclude this semester. I'm crossing my fingers that I can get better grades than last year because I think I've put in more effort this semester in my essays! I have to work harder for exams to achieve that!.

2011-10-09T00:08:00.000+08:00

2011-10-07T00:20:00.002+08:00

I am jus too tired. I need time to sleep. I need time to pack my room. I need time to tidy up my lap top, hard disk, Thumbsrive. I need time for my 3 assignment which are due soon. I need time to read emails. I need time to reply SMS, and think through. I am too tired, too too tired.

2011-09-18T21:22:00.003+08:00

all these sitting in front of the computer 24/7 is no good. I need to E.X.E.R.C.I.S.E!

minions goodnight kisses

2011-09-15T23:37:00.001+08:00

Despicable Me - MiniOn Butt

2011-09-15T23:37:00.000+08:00

2011-09-13T22:15:00.002+08:00

When September Comes

2011-09-13T21:44:00.014+08:00

Exciting weeks so far. Shall list them down.
Went for an agency visit to THE HAVEN Children's home with my classmates and what was nice was the whole philosophy and mission behind the institution, and about social work after the whole session speaking to the staff over there. Coming into such social service setting never fails to make me humble again, inspired and reflective.A few days back, Tok mentioned something about how he misses Sock Sim and the "energy" that she exhibits to the department. I realised that the "energy" and being around people with that makes alot of difference to the everyday routine work and having such people can change alot on one's attitude towards the whole situation. And this will then be transferable to our clients as well.

I also remember myself sitting at star bucks with Shui Xian and Syafi trying to solve maths problem sums. It's so true that why aren't we as hard working as when we were younger? I love math alot now that I'm an adult. I mean primary school math! The ones especially where you can draw the diagrams or anything related to ratio,speed and fraction. I used to hate math and couldn't understand why must it be X, Y or Z. I never understand the concept of those diagrams and I never understand why there is a need for a to travel to b, while b travel to a and they want me to find out the mid point that they meet.! haha.

Has attended my 4th Malay class and it has been pretty mind blowing. It's really not easy learning languages especially when you don't practise it regularly. But I'm pretty much amaze by alot of things, like how missi means nurses in Malay. I always thought that missi was either some dialect or it stands for Missy ( as in Miss becomes Missy where some people try to be funny by prolonging the pronouciation of the word, or tuan tuan dan paun puan , mabuk and jam dingding! haha.

Failed with the coordination for my aerobics lesson but I'm glad its making me work out at least once a week now because I really hardly have time at all for running and exercise. Would really love to complete a 21km by year end, but I'm really not sure about that. Neither have I sign up for one.

Oh and Kumars at 3 Monkeys! rolling off my chair.

I Went Swenswen with my colleagues for a farewell dinner and they sold out on their YAM Flavour Icecream! Really disappointing cause its the only nice swensen flavour ice cream cause the rest are just mediocre.

Met Disa after Malay Classes and for once he waited with his phone battery dead and not worried that I will just stood him up. nice. and I get to eat my soft shell crab vermicelli from Thai Express. :)

Met a cute elderly couple and we made them wear couple tee! Sometimes I really wonder how it really feels like to have dementia and for my husband who is going to take care of it. Will I still remember that he loves me?

and I have got Good Grades for social work and my financial module! Whee. Albeit the lousy grade from Sociology, but I guess its still worth the pat on the back and encourage myself to continue the hardwork. Approx 6 more weeks to go, grace!

Next Up!Cambodia and Bread Pudding at Goodwood!:) Whee!

2011-09-11T20:15:00.006+08:00

I just destroyed and burnt them with my very own hands.

2011-09-04T01:44:00.002+08:00

2011-09-01T23:20:00.001+08:00

Kiss slowly, laugh insanely, live truly, and and forgive quickly.

Impressive

2011-08-29T22:53:00.009+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rywPgwDk9vM&sns=fb

Really impressive and adorable could have been you, as my president! sob* Frankly, having no knowledge about Singapore's history and politics myself, the various clips about the advocacy work that he has done and all that follow up till the day of election made me felt inspired by this old man. Disa found my iphone having his apps! haha. But I have to say media really increases your knowledge about a person and allows you to judge them very quickly and at times,too casually too, which is no good.

Despite Mr Tony Tan and him both being really impressive,but to me,ultimately one strike off as the more outstanding one, and it has to be Mr Tan Cheng Bock. Im terms of the arena of politics or international relations, both are dependable and sufficient for the role. But I think Mr Tan Cheng Bock creativity (his apps),his Expo speech etc and how he made Singaporean felt important was brought across to us through the heart. What an amazing election I would say. I was really quite worried after I drop my vote into the box, I kept thinking of the strategies behind the number of eligible candidates and how my votes will cause Tan Jee Say to win due to his anti PAP fans voting for him versus having to let the 2 popular Mr TT and Mr TCB share the majority votes. It was a huge risk but Phew!I think like what SR Nathan said, I think Singaporeans are sensible enough to know who to vote.

But Oh well. its decided. Let's just move on.

2011-08-27T18:50:00.001+08:00

and New Zealand you are playing like shit!

2011-08-23T22:55:00.003+08:00

chase me again like what you did those times 3 years ago.

Ageing Population

2011-08-23T00:57:00.000+08:00

The need for independence stems from the need for a person’s dignity. In a Straits Times report dated 20 March 2007, a wheelchair-bound bachelor who was a former seaman insisted on living alone although he had relatives as he did not want to burden others. My mother’s friend also insisted on living alone with a maid although her children asked her to live with them. So, just as young people are changing in their attitudes and value system, elderly people are changing in their mindset as well. People crave for greater independence and space. The finger should not only be pointed at the younger generation.

-Ms Melanie Lum-

2011-08-21T22:28:00.002+08:00

couldn't quite understand. If lesbians embrace the fact that they love another woman more than another man, then why must there still be a one of them always being the masculine female? Today's mass "wedding" party event in Taipei which consists of 80 lesbian couples tying the knot in Taiwan's biggest same-sex wedding party shows the more masculine female wearing a wedding suit while the other in her wedding gown. Why can't both of them just dress up in a wedding gown?

2011-08-21T21:42:00.002+08:00

I guess in actual fact, the problem lies not in the way the foreigners are, the way they behave. The cases of foreigner committing crimes only creates a wrong impression of the foreigners, angered the citizens and allow them to point their fingers more easily towards them. All these amplified the cultural differences negatively and twisted the root of the problem. In actual fact, people are not pleased with the socio-economic policies, public infrastructure like transport, education and housing. They are displeased with the way government handles the ill effects arising from their policies and public services.

2011-08-16T01:11:00.004+08:00

education is the root to most problems. No education lands you in a low pay or unemployment. This will lead to a upward spiral of financial dependency and eventual poverty. and perhaps greater social issues for the country.

Therefore all potential parents, all young singles who are intending to get married should make sure they set aside money to allow their children to make it to a local university or n overseas degree 20-30 years from now. This should be the responsibility of a parent before they decided to give birth to a child.

2011-08-16T01:01:00.002+08:00

http://www.masteryourfinance.com/forum/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?p=9613&sid=689586f944cbcc4363a6a640ae646a79

Omg. Its 1am and I am looking through this random forum I chance upon and I begin to get what he meant by how choosing the right endowment is important. Although I don't exactly know if what he meant by the 3% inflation rate make any sense, but still, i begin to understand my financial as of today, after learning so much from this damn textbook which causes me great insecurity now in my life.

I think i'm have a quarter-life crisis soon!

2011-08-15T00:49:00.001+08:00

I NEED SECURITY RIGHT NOW! :(

2011-08-15T00:18:00.004+08:00

This week sucks. I do not see any glimpse of hope anymore.
In terms of my current situation, it sucks to be stuck with a damn low pay.
In terms of my loans, its gonna take me perhaps another 5 years?
In terms of my financial goals for the future, saving up enough to start a family, get a house and enough for a trip seems to require lots of effort and perhaps investments and some knowledge of playing shares and making sure I don't burn myself.
Not interested in it anymore. None of it.

Life requires positivity and hope and reason to live.
What is there, then to live and get by?

I'm just lucky I'm pretty much still relying on the thick skin of mine and living off my parents in terms of the household bills and free SCV that I get to watch. What I give my parents are probably not even enough to pay off the household bills, lets not even talk about providing food for them.

Financial Planning

2011-08-14T23:13:00.006+08:00

My dad just told me that by the time I'm age 60 years old, I need to save up enough such that I have $1500/mth to live by comfortably. Talking into acct the high cost of living and inflation 40 years later, and that I do not need to rely on my children.Or perhaps that I don't have a children at all.

$500 $15/day for daily food expenses
$100 conservacy
$200 electrical and water bills
$100 telephone bills
$200 Sundry items
$100 TV license and TV programs
$150 transport
$150 misc/medical
Total $1500/month

Henceforth, for this damn "managing my personal finances" module, one of my financial goal is to save up $300,000 for retirement when I reach 60 years old,hoping that I can last till 85 years old and get $1000/mth for myself. This whole amt will take into acct my funeral money as well.

Why? Why are we making the world so hard to live in?

2011-08-14T12:01:00.002+08:00

Delayed Gratification
When you want something that is not a priority in your life, the wise thing to do is to save the money to buy it and not charge it or pay for it with the money that you know should pay for something more important.

Learning self control and self discipline can go a long way in helping you save for the things you want.

2011-08-11T23:47:00.003+08:00

oh well. Haven't bought a single clothing this month and I'm planning to continue hanging in there till Movember. I walked past this shop, walked right in just to satisfy that momentarily "i need to try you on! You damn cutesy-wussy piece of cloth" It was a lovely,cute little black office skirt with neon yellow strips pockets and belt. Its only $24.95, pretty cheap for a below knee skirt. and I so want to buy it. But i guess I still have alot of pieces of clothing in my cupboard waiting for me to unravel their potential beauty by just spending some effort to mix and match and accessorize . So pls give the left-out some hope, Grace.

:(

2011-08-07T10:31:00.001+08:00

For some Indians, the conundrum is exacerbated by the fact that our parents had no choice for a partner; the only choice was how hard they’d work to be happy. My father saw my mother once before they got married. He loves to shock Americans by recounting how he lost sight of her at a bazaar the day after their wedding and lamented to himself that he would never find her again, as he’d forgotten what she looked like. So while we, as modern Indian women, eschew the idea of marrying without love, the idea that we’re being too picky tends to nag even more than it otherwise would.

2011-08-06T23:15:00.001+08:00

I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.

2011-08-03T00:20:00.004+08:00

Disa. I'm hungury!!! :(
I want to eat prawn aglio olio and pepperoni pizza and buffalo chicken.
I decided. I will cook my own aglio olio on Saturday!

2011-08-03T00:20:00.003+08:00

Disa. I'm hungury!!! :(
I want to eat prawn aglio olio and pepperoni pizza and buffalo chicken.
I decided. I will cook my own aglio olio on Saturday!

A Choice Made

2011-08-01T23:57:00.002+08:00

If i could one day leave the relationship.
And Chose to do what I always dream of doing.
Or Rather.

if one day I lose this relationship,
I will chose to do what I always dream of doing.

2011-07-30T15:18:00.001+08:00

Jus gotten my studies schedule all written out. The visual calendar just gave me a shocked. First assignment due on 11th August which is about a week time. How horrifying is this. But its okay, I just focusing on work,studying and exercising. And of course, reading. I excited I'm not stagnant. and I can't wait for September.
Many things to look forward to.

Sociology

2011-07-30T15:06:00.002+08:00

WHen you begin to see a personal problem as part of a wider,public issue, you realise that while these problemsmay be the individual's fault, or simply because they are down on their luck, they may also be a result of the way socities are organized and the connections between things that happen in our immediate lives and the wider environment.

2011-07-28T00:10:00.003+08:00

Okay, alittle bit of tidying up myself here.

Now that school has started, and I so love the modules this semester, I'm gonna make sure I read all my notes and study really hard. Its funny how I always tell myself I'm so gonna study really hard, but I really I am someone with really low perserverence when it comes to academic, or what some people would call it the "not cut out for academic" people. hah. excuses. Mind over Body!

I'm carrying out my super saving mode starting from today onwards - which pretty much means a no buying of clothes or unnecessary items 3 months plan and of course budgeting on my food spending. I'm very determined about this! :) All to ensure I have spending power in Hong Kong and can shop with extreme happiness with my besties.

I'm making sure I will go to work on time and sleep at 12am from tomorrow onwards. I need this 7 hrs of rest in order to perform.

Exercising. This is damn fucking important. Running that 10km in West Coast Park a few weeks ago made me realised how weak I am in my running now. I'm kinda thinking of signing up for those aerobic kick boxing lessons again cause they really helps to keep my body discipline. and I want to sign up for another 21km! For this year, i need to reach a better timing of at least 2 hrs 20 mins. Tough but I have to do it.

Read. Enough Said.

goodbye.

2011-07-25T23:35:00.000+08:00

2011-07-25T23:14:00.001+08:00

I wish I could sing no regrets and no emotional debts
'Cause as we kiss goodbye the sun sets
So we are history, the shadow covers me
The sky above, a blaze that only lovers see

Westa Coasta Plaza

2011-07-17T18:33:00.002+08:00

Finally an awesome run in the west coast of Singapore. The run itself was tortuous because of my lack of training and very negative mindset. I kept thinking what goes up must come down but damn why do I even have to be up there in the first place. But after the run,that feeling of conquering yet another ten click was nothing but shiokness. and thinking back about how we didn't know how to travel to WCP and I was so bloody angry with you for not being alittle bit more encouraging as I was damn damn guilty for pulling you to go thru this with me! but all is well, at least to me. :) It really made my day.

2011-07-17T18:29:00.002+08:00

2011-07-11T00:31:00.002+08:00

不要什么诺言，
只要天天在一起。
我不能只依靠，
片片回忆活下去。

2011-07-08T00:11:00.002+08:00

dublin mudslide. awesome.

then look at this

pout. gross.

2011-07-02T01:03:00.003+08:00

It's strange that sometimes I feel that you are an almost direct opposite person to me. But yet, deep inside, you filled up what was left empty. Like we were so similar. I know it may sound cheesy and perhaps an overrated description about how I felt about us, but I don't care. that is what I really felt.
I don't know how to put it, but I know I'm pretty much more focused now in life. I used to be one of those with endless pursues and not that I'm not anymore, but I learn to handle to live within my means, and enjoy doing what I can. I learn to appreciate and maintain the things I have - friends, and just daily things.

few years back as a teenager, I was one who would cycle alone at night, head for my first dive alone without any hold back,endless camps,OBS,abseiling courses and mountain climbing trips.crazy adventuous stuff I always love to do. volunteering and endless late nights.I seriously don't know where I got so much courage to just do crazy things but I guess its probably just Erikson's stage that I'm going through. But as I grow older, I find it harder to fulfilled because I don't have the financial means and neither do I have the time for it. perhaps along the way, its all about how you handle and work out your life the way you want it to be.I guess paradigms shifted and its no longer about identity crisis? :)

I don't want to lose what I love to do, but yet I have to learn to adapt to what I can only do at the moment and slowly find my way there to who I truly am and has always been. I guess at the end of the day, I have to learn to be patient because I realised how in this few years, so many amazing things has happen and I'm slowing myself down to appreciate all that I have. instead of being the messy me who has no direction but just doing what society deem as popular to do.

I have learn that you live for yourself, not for others to see or judge you. If you live your life wanting others to comment or be happy for you, or pursuing things/plans just so that others would view you as special or exciting,so I can put on FB or twitter, then you will find yourself wasting your own time because you will never be truly happy about the things you have done in life. :)
I guess this applies in a relationship too. I remember you saying that a relationship is about 2 person, not the world. I couldn't agree more. Now i begin to ask myself each time, do I realy enjoy doing it,or I'm doing it to impress others?.

I'm moving forward. and growing to make things fall in place.thks. I will continuing learning how to handle my endless list of pursues and dreams. A step at a time. and Of course, standing by my values and doing things that makes me smile at the end of the day :)

2011-06-28T22:17:00.004+08:00

enough is enough. I'm sick and tired of planning things myself when it involves 2 person. I really am.its like a one way. fuck it.

2011-06-22T00:03:00.003+08:00

there are a list of things for me to do and I will do them. I know I'm always full of things to do, just never gonna stop myself down.
I need to run, I need to read. I need to save up money for adventure and I need to learn. It's hard keeping positive and be energetic. It takes alot of mind fuckin and correct mindset.

but i'm gonna tell myself, 1 more year! a astep at a time.

2011-06-15T22:47:00.000+08:00

I so wanna be part of the broadway.

Kanye West - Love Lockdown

2011-06-06T23:24:00.000+08:00

2011-04-10T01:24:00.004+08:00

if i would die, i would chose to die in a very beautiful place. perhaps up on a lovely mountain,laying there on the grass patch staring at the awesome sky with the stars shining ever so brightly.somewhat like what i saw in Cambodia. I want to lie on something so soft, it felt like my bed. I must get that feeling like somedays when I don't want to wake up for work or for school. I would love to lie on some extrmely nice cushion mattress, surrounded with all the fluffy pillow and blanket. cause it will be cold out there.

as i let the blood slowly dripped through its last bit. with no goodbye to anybody. just me and the beautiful sky. death is supposed to be beautiful. it is supposed to be. its more beautiful than anything else ever can find. more beautiful than love, don't you all agree?

i really think so. i guess suicidal letters should only be done once. its either you die or you don't. because if I dont, I will have a record under IMH and life would be pretty much screwed and worst than what it was before.

you only write what you felt once. once and for all. i guess there are just too much things to prepare for a beautiful death, don't you think so? but its more worth it than having one without any preparation.

2011-04-10T01:21:00.001+08:00

goodbye.

2011-04-09T23:58:00.001+08:00

its really tough.

2011-04-09T21:44:00.000+08:00

where were you?
I feel like fuck.

2011-04-09T20:23:00.000+08:00

I will never forgive you.

2011-04-09T17:22:00.001+08:00

2011-04-06T00:39:00.000+08:00

i need to be with someone who bothers to make an effort towards trying to surprise me all my life. It doesn't have to be everyday, but to make an effort simply because it should be something that comes out naturally from you to want to care, to make the other partner realises how special they are. and will be forever. if everything becomes just boring to you,or talking to the other party just becomes like an obligation just because you have to reply out of courtesy, then you have to ask yourself why are you holding on to this relationship in the first place.

was it just for show? or was it just to fill up certain gaps.

and never leave them on the streets. all alone. never get into a relationship if you don't think there is a future. or if you don't know why are you getting into one at all. or just want to waste your everyday, the other party's time everyday. just letting the clock tick by.when in fact 3/4 of the time in the relationship, it was just getting together for the sick of it. 1/4 of the time because you need them. or worst still just because there is someone else.

and when you can't decide on your own feelings. can't decide if this is the woman you really love. you think you love.

because simply, get into one with the heart to want to make the best out of it. as if everything was the first time. every single thing should be special. because it may not be special to you, but it is so fucking bloody special to the other person. that you will never understand how it felt. so don't waste your time just fulfilling obligations. just doing things with your partner as if you have too even though you know you have done it before. because if you have that mindset, then don't bother getting into one. perhaps find someone else who doesn't give you this kind of feeling.

2011-04-06T00:17:00.003+08:00

Pls Guys, if you know/realise/thinks that she was/will never/be the special one, never will be. then just don't get together and make a promise. Don't. even if you are into the relationship,2 years, 8 years, 10 years. just break it.

2011-03-31T22:44:00.002+08:00

Zonk out this week.work and school at its maximum. I am to my maximum. I need to rest my mind and start on my assignments.I need the right mind to stay focus and lessen the anxiety. I need to be alone.

2011-03-28T00:04:00.001+08:00

Dear D,

I met you 3 years ago today. You remember? It has been a long time since you last talk to me about 3 years ago of today and just lying there holding my hands trying to help me to recollect the moment. that something exculsive.

I was just looking through all our photos and thinking through how we went through this past 3 years. Alot of things have changed. I certainly know that what we have in mind of each other, wouldn't be as perfect as what we all did have of each other from the start. We had our ups and downs. and till date, I don't know where exactly this will bring us. where we are heading.

I'm lost. but strangely, its not the right time either to look for where we want to go. I believe we have different expectations. You need the space that I cannot give. I need the direction which you cannot commit. but I cannot bear to give up all this just like that. I hope you are too.

These three years you brought me in to many things in your life. The most vivid one being the recent pass on of Mr Roberts. 3 years ago, I didn't know about him, about you. But 3 years later, it hurts so much knowing how much you miss you.want him back. You said you felt bad for not talking to me much. I want to tell you I feel guilty for being so happy when we meet up, because I know it's hard for you to be all cheerful because you still miss him so, and things are going to be different from now on. but yet you have to hide all these. you don't have to, you know?

You said before the 2 most important things about a relationship - at the roof top. you still remember? I do. and I realsied it ain't something that can be achieve so easily. that is why its called a relationship? I supposed so. :)

when we sat at the taxi that day,back from parkway, as you pointed to that area near your primary school, you painted the picture to me of how he would bring you to school, crossing all the roads with the heavy traffic. I wanted to tell you that it was a very sweet moment you had with him. I don't know how much pain you are suffering, how much scary alone time you had thinking of him. but you have to remember that he was the one who brought you up, the later part of your life, so please live it well.

I have yet to listen to you tell me of your greatest fear. which i didn't get to, today. but just so you know, I didn't forget about it.

I know. I really know. that we don't know when we will end. when this will last. will we untie the knots. but for all that matters, today is a very special day, to me, in my life. :)

and when she said that the kitchen was closed, when it started pouring, when we reached the circle line and forget there city hall wasn't on the map, when the escalator just stopped suddenly. I told myself, is this just it? come on, we can survive more than just this. :)

Happy 3 Years of knowing that you exist, no longer as a floorball member and a GL that never met. :) goodnight.

2011-03-27T22:25:00.005+08:00

As i mentally recall the number of task I have to do for the coming 3 weeks and the impending deadlines, its kinda causing anxiety for myself now. Plus, I realised I need to complete my Medifund SF cases before the appraisal date.gosh.

its time for bed. I'm heading for a morning run, after almost 2.5 months. this is going to be tough.

I have goals to achieve, I need to be focus, and sacrifice the nonsense such as TV,FB,stoning,and all. I need proper sleep and utilise my time at work and at home. I have so much going through in my mind now, I'm so heavy.

I need to pull through this. This final month that ends the semester and my final exam paper. I need to mind fuck myself and transform to become a superwoman. where nothing is impossible.

hoho!.
sigh.
goodnight.

2011-03-27T19:46:00.008+08:00

okay. its time to talk.mainly because its the time of the month and i'm neurotic again.

I tried to think back of any significant things that happened to me for the past few weeks. the one I have to talk about here so as to create history for myself in my life, hurhur*, was about some idiotic lizard or whatever insect shitting in my ear while I was sleeping. *praying it was not a earwig*

I supposed that damn thing must have thought my ear was a shithole - comfortable enough for them to settle down to poop. I know, laugh at me! seriously, it's gross.

All i can recall was myself woken up by this extreme pressure in my ear, but i was too tired to care, so i went back to bed. The next morning, while i was just casually touching the inside of my ear hole, i find this: black piece of shit stuck in my ear. Okay, that picture below was taken form the internet, and what was stuck in my ear was just half the length, but it was somewhat the exact looking thing. :(

Just thinking about it now, sends jittery down my spine. This is based on the fact that I have Entomophobia and it sent me paranoid at work the whole day. I went home looking for any signs of insect nest around my bed area and as advised by my colleague to sleep with my hair covering my ear to prevent such FML event from happening ever again.

I was paranoid as to whether did that bloody insect went into my ear up into my brain, but i suppose not cause there weren't any bleeding inside. moreover, I'm pretty much still alive, since that incident about 2 weeks ago. :(.

I found this on the net of someone with a similar ordeal. okay way worst than me. but I hope it is enough to remind everyone to please sleep with your ears covered.
Ear Wig

FML

2011-03-27T12:56:00.000+08:00

My Nails are Too Short, it hurts.

2011-03-24T00:26:00.004+08:00

I'm gonna run.
I will. life is gonna be back to just running, and staying focus on what's important to me now and what I need to get me through this.

epic facial expression.

2011-03-23T00:33:00.001+08:00

FHM = F her Man.

hahahahahahahahaha. so hilarious, courtesy from an awesome friend.

2011-03-23T00:17:00.003+08:00

Sports Camp Revival 2011. It definitely felt different, but yet very familiar as it got me reminsce of those extremely unforgettable and exhilarating days we had, laughing so loudly, pulling hair meetings and extreme tiredness. the sleeping next to each other, slacking in childcare,my favourite times as a logistics,nightwalks,htht,camwhoring like nothing. I guess i nv regret heading to poly right after JC. never did. It's one of the best time of my life.

2011-03-19T17:38:00.000+08:00

are these all that i'm worth?

2011-03-19T17:18:00.001+08:00

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

2011-03-12T23:45:00.002+08:00

thinking about it, all i can ever remember about Mede is the very ticklish laughter that he had and that smile on his face every single time i see him. Perhaps i was never close enough to know of his problems and the times when he was down, but he never fails to carry along with him that bag of jokes, along with my awesome seniors and mates, that rocks the camp. Sports camp forever! As cheesy as it sounds,SSC is legendary.

Rest in peace,you. I guess eventually we will all meet up there one day, and hopefully by then we can have another awesome sports camp together. :)

Rest in peace, love and happiness,Karmede.

2011-03-12T22:58:00.001+08:00

Biology says that we are who we are from birth, that DNA is set in stone, unchangeable. Our DNA doesn't account for all of us. We are human. Life changes us. We develop new traits, become less territorial. We stop competing. We learn from our mistakes. We face our greatest fears. For better or worse, we find ways to become more than our biology. The risk, of course, is that we can change too much, to the point we don't recognize ourselves. Finding our way back can be difficult. There's no compass, no map. We just have to close our eyes, take a step and hope to god we get there. -Meredith Grey-

2011-03-12T22:45:00.000+08:00

Derek to Meredith:
"I love you, and you love me. And whatever happens, I don't care. I don't wanna know. Here's what were going to do - no more doctors, no more labs. And you and I, we have a lot of sex. Maybe we can make a baby, maybe not. Maybe you get Alzheimer's, maybe not. Just, screw the odds, screw the science. Let's just live. Whatever happens, happens."

2011-03-11T00:34:00.003+08:00

thks bestie. i know what to do and i think i can do it.

2011-03-08T22:43:00.003+08:00

Love,
i think by now, he would have read it?
hear it?
feel it?
I think so.

1921

2011-03-08T21:11:00.003+08:00

Strangely, the birth and death of human, will always lead me to qn on where exactly are we from?
who creates us?
what is up or down there?
who is GOD?
which is GOD?
where is GOD?
and why did you have to do this to us GOD?

if you think about it, everyday we are moving one step towards our death date.
but at the same time we are one step towards meeting those whom we love,love very much but have left us.
one step closer towards all the mysteries and struggles to life that we encounter.
and of course,definitely,one step closer towards living behind lots of misses and memories to the people we have met,those who are very dear to us.

please crumble and fall.
break and tear. It's okay.
i'll try to piece you back when you are ready.