:( :( :(

Its another week ahead. Its currently reaching 2am and I not asleep yet. There are a couple of important things to do, that I have not done. infact, quite alot of things. Its a bad start for the week, but I have to face it,

it's not like I have a choice, isn't it?

despite the recent case of the doctor who died in pulau aur while he was diving, I still want to dive. Being underwater is a whole different feeling. It felt so quiet in there, except for only your breathing through the oxygen tank. Even if I wasn't diving, and just snorkeling, I could watch the underwater world in a very serene environment.

At times I feel like I'm disturbin or intruding the cute little fishes underwater, and the corals;seems unwelcoming towards my arrival.However I can't help but become attracted to the way they wriggle underwater. and how the fishes would siwm under me as me they can't be bothered by me.

I quite lethargic recently from alot of things. or maybe its just how I work. take it or leave it. I sense people by sincerity and if I sense that I deserve that sincere concern and I'm not getting it, then you are no longer worth my wait. or rather, my time. but i patient, I will wait.

till you bother. I will wait till someone comes and tell me I have to start waking up because it is no longer worth it.

i'm excited. bout lots of things. I'm okay now I have got to grapple my time well and do all that I can!

like now! before that, I've got to go bath first.

I FUCKIN WANT SENTOSA COVE!

HAHA.I mean i have to admit it.I'm now one of those who gets suck into that damn bloody smart Mcdonald game. Its really damn bloody addictive, its almost like gambling! Those little scratch and win from SINGAPORE POOL!

and do you want to know how sex ever get mind-blowing sex? hehe

I thought it was a real bad idea that Thaksin is now the economic advisor for Cambodia.Okay I can't see it from a political point of view caues frankly I don't care 2 hoots about politics. However,it is defitely an insulting matter for Thailand and it will trigger future conflicts and in turn escalate more problems for cambodia.
wouldn't it?

I'm not too sure bout that. It felt so drama-mama. like how arnold schwarsenegger becames a politician. Anyway, i'm more worried bout the cute little kids there.
And I'm gonna go to AngKor Wat. I really want to before all the renovation.

hello world.

recently I find joy in watching channel 8 dramas. They are really good.

I remmeber watching a program on channel 8, some sort like "talking point" .They interviewed Singaporean, particularly people from the heartlanders, seeking their opinions regarding the latest wooha happening in the country. You will be surprise by the responses coming from the heart lander people as they are full of repartee. At times, they are humurous but yet down-to-earth and close to heart.

the latest 9pm mediacop drama that I enjoy watching after work would be the Penguin's daddy. Well we all know the penguin story. I remember watching march of the penguins, and I get to know that the fathers are the ones who incubate the baby penguins while the mother will be out there seeking for food for them.Once the babies are given birth, the mother will then be back to give them the food that she has kept down her throat. That is where the small little penguins will enter the mouth of the mother and try to dig out the food.so gawd damn cute. The whole process can take up to 2-4 months which means the father penguins would have gone wihtout eating for that long a period.

Well what the channel 8 drama is trying to tackle is the role of women in society. It talks about how women are still not accepted to being the breadwinner of the family while the men being the househusband. Recently Syafi told me that James Lye was a household husband while Diana sir will be out there working. It came as a surprise to me, cause James Lye in apron, mopping the floor and heading to the market? He is too cute for that man.

Ever since work started, I have to agree I kinda don't mind being a housewife but that only occurs in the morning when I wake up, where I wish i didn't have to go to work. But then again, I guess I really like my internship job now and I wish I could do more related task like what my fellow social workers colleauges are doing now.

well female's emancipation has come a long long way. I think woman are ready for that, to go through the work stress and be the breadwinner for the family.

My fellow male earthlings,are you all ready to become the househusbands?

i guess it was all too much to ask for.

do anyone out there get that same feeling.
that moment all your can do is to suck it in.
and when you breathe everything in, that tinge of unexplained pain.

it wasn't pain actually. not those that bites, not those that sting like a bee. not those with a cut.not a sprain. not a pinch.
it goes right up into your eyes and there; it flows.

I can't figure out what is that supposed to be called.

perhaps; unexplained.

Labels: heehee

: (

i don't like that attitude of yours. and neither do i understand why your hatred for him. it hurts so much from a bystander. I don't like becoming the middle man, but i have to.

Is that how you want things to be? If he dies one day, are you gonna be there? Seeing him work through the night while you have the comfort of your air con and sleep, don't you feel a tinge of basic human emotions? Remember how you lost your hp in army but he was so worried you would get frustrated and screw yourself up in army, he allow you to get back a phone or your liking? there are a 100001 things that they did for their role that I appreciate. do you feel the same way too?

I can't deny. a 100001 things I didn't get to see based on your perspective. how you were hurt or diminished or I believed put down by them. I felt that way too. a 10000001 times over. perhaps more than you; if you reaslied because I'm never better than you in terms of studies.

I wouldn't deny they ain't the best parents on earth. They weren't encouraging at all most of the time. They make life miserable for me when it comes to decision making regarding my future and many a times I felt incomplete. they create trouble among people.

but at least i know, they do provide us with lots of things. though i would say material wise mostly. But that's how they express their love, don't they? what then is the role of a parent? what is considered appropriate to you? I always told myself I will not be like them, this and that. I will be like that to my children this and that. But its not easy. It really isn't. I don't know. But i just know it isn't. Is that justifiable?


But have you ask yourself, is that because you are just comparing yourself to the others? What they have given you, isn't it enough to make you who you are today? They are brought up with their own set of parents, that was what made them who they are. And how they tried to make us like them based on what they are taught. Who shall we blame then?

why the resent I couldn't comprehend. I don't take side.I don't even know why the whole chunk above exist when all of it are based on my imagination, or perhaps my own resentments for them.

but i really don't take sides. I just feel hurt. very hurt about it.

Comatose

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Thanksforeverythin.Ilookedbacktodayandiwonderhowfarwehavegone.itisalmostayearsoon;
itmayseemshortbutitislongenoughsuchthatitissomethingiwillnotforgeteasily.
youareawayinsomejunglenowwhilei'mhere,wherebyocassionally
whenistopdoingwhatiambusywith,ithoughtofyouandallthemotionsgetflustered
butyetastateofgratefulness.itssostrange.soformal.yetsocasual.
todayonthetrainisawamanwearingthisshirtwhichsays
"Icanforgive,butIcanneverforget,becausewheniforget,itmeansiamnotexperiencing".
godknowswhathappensthereafter.godknowswhenmymoodandemotionsaregonnagetintheway
ofourrelationship.godknowswheni'llbecomeuncontrollablyweirdandcrazyandmessyand
idon'tknowwhatiwantintherelationshipanymore.godknowswhenwe'llevercheat.
iknowwouldn't.butidon'tknowwheniwould.quirk.godknowswhenyou'lleverleaveme.
iwillweepalldayallnight.perhapsIwouldn't.godknows.
maybeioughttobegrateful.thatisallfortonightandthenextcomingmonths,tilltheyearends.

before 2012 apocalypse, where the world is believe to end according to whatever maya calendar, (and i can't wait to meet the aliens), please love.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same that it ever was;

A more detailed biography here.
I live in the land of love peace and freedom
I believe in karma and UFOs
i do not like to talk unless i really do want to talk
do not force me to talk when i do not want to talk
& i tell anti climax stories
even so, i still think i am amazing :)


The beautiful things